What If?

I couldn’t go to sleep last night.  See, I started reading “Girl, Wash Your Face!” by Rachel Hollis, and even though I tried to go to bed at a decent time, I laid there next to my husband (who was snoring, oh so slightly) and a dog with some seriously loud and annoying nasal issues (that story is for another day).  So, I was laying there struck by how much the first chapter of her book sounded like me.  The premise of the book is that she is going to plow through the lies that she has told herself in the past, in hopes that it will inspire the rest of us to stop listening to those same lies that we are still repeating over and over in our heads.

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Lie #1?  Something else will make me happy.  Boom. There it was.  The thing I’ve said to myself over and over.  Once everyone sleeps through the night, I’ll be happy.  When all three kids are potty-trained, then I’ll definitely climb that happy mom mountain.  How about once my boys go to kindergarten, I’ll be happy.  Except I won’t be….I’ll be a crying mess on the floor, but that is also another story for another day.  What she was trying to point out is that we can choose to be happy every single day of our life.  No, not all circumstances lend themselves to feeling happy.  Sometimes seasons of our lives call for mourning, grief, and sadness.  But most of the time, our happiness depends on us.  And the direction our lives go also depends on us.

img_0305Now, don’t get me wrong.  I certainly believe that God has a master plan for my life.  That he has things mapped out and has given me a true purpose here on this earth.  But, I also certainly believe that He doesn’t expect me to sit on the sidelines and just watch my life pass me by waiting for the next thing that will make me “happy”.  He wants me to jump up and seize happiness for myself and for those around me.  Yes, we can expect trouble in this world, and even expect to suffer for our beliefs, just like is spoken about in the Bible.  But, Jesus also celebrated with friends, enjoyed gatherings with His disciples, and made the most out of every single moment He had on this earth.  God wants us to be light to this world, not bench warmers.

Leap is my “one little word” for this year.  It is the word I am holding on to, repeating over and over to myself.  It’s time to leap into new endeavors, new challenges, and to stop waiting for the next thing to make me happy.  But, what about the “What ifs”?  I mean, don’t all of us moms specialize in this phrase?  We are the logistical managers of our families, planning for all circumstances.  Packing extra clothes, extra snacks, more extra clothes, extra toys, planning schedules, determining how long it takes to get somewhere, redetermining how long it might take if there is an accident on the Beltway.  You get the idea.  Moms specialize in “what if?”.  And, being the type-A mom I am, I am an expert at it.

img_0308What if I try something new, and I fail?  What if I start a blog, and only my mom reads it? (Thanks Mom!)  What if I apply for jobs this year, and just don’t get one?  What if any of the crazy scenarios that go through my head everyday actually happen?  Sure, I could fail spectacularly.  But, even if I do fail, at least I did it in spectacular fashion.  At least I didn’t sit on the sidelines, hoping happiness would fall in my lap.

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I did finally fall asleep last night and woke up in the morning with this art journal page on my mind.  Like most of my art journal pages, it did not turn out quite like I had envisioned.  That’s how most dreams go.  The girl’s face is a bit wonky, and the skin tones don’t pop like I hoped they would.  Plus, let’s not even get started on my crazy handwriting.  But, I love this girl.  She represents all the possibilities of the year.  Those beautiful butterflies that make up her hair are dreams that are coming true.  Time to step up, step out, and make it happen!

I am so excited and anxious about leaping into 2019.  If you could forget about the “what if?”, what would you do to seize happiness this year?

Keep it creative!

-The Scrappy Wife

Supplies Used:

6 Replies to “What If?”

  1. Oh boy. Where do I start. I tell myself there is nothing I can do living in a tiny all white rural town. Nothing stimulating and hard to find like minded people. No seminars no art or dance classes Just church and bars. Nearest university is hour away. City two hours away. I’m a stay at home mom feeling like I would be happier if I lived back in Chicago. I’m also a davenpeep In some ways learning art through Jane has helped save me.

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    1. Art is an amazing outlet, and has really pushed me out of my comfort zone recently. Keep being true to yourself, and good things are going to happen! I love that Jane’s artwork has been so inspiring to you…I completely agree!

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  2. I’m going to have to read this book. Thanks for sharing so openly. I identify with a lot of thoughts here.

    But can we just say WOW on this art spread! Gorgeous, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

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